Stop Rushing New Hires to Hit KPIs: Use the 90-Day Attachment

If you’ve ever brought new hires onto your team and thought, Let’s see some results right away!, you’re not the only one. But here’s the thing: even your most talented hire needs time, safety, and connection before they can perform at their best.

I learned that lesson the hard way, and in a very unexpected place.

It came from the first 90 days of fostering a baby girl named Baby S, who completely changed how I think about leadership, onboarding, and business growth.

From the NICU to Leadership Lessons

In April 2022, my wife Tracy and I got a call that would change everything.

A baby had been born addicted to drugs and was in the neonatal intensive care unit in Sydney. Two days later, we were driving down to meet her. At just two and a half weeks old, Baby S came home with us, along with a hospital bag of syringes, a dosage chart, and a bottle of morphine for her withdrawal.

We’d never done anything like this. Every few hours, we fed, dosed, comforted, and repeated. Our only KPI was to keep her feeling safe and regulated.

Those early weeks were intense. Alarms went off day and night. Every decision mattered. But over time, as her symptoms began to ease, something beautiful happened. Baby S started tracking us with her eyes.

That small moment hit me hard. Before she could grow, she needed to feel safe. Before she could explore, she needed to trust.

And it turns out, the same is true for every new team member who walks through your doors.

The Regulate–Relate–Reason Framework

Child psychiatrist Dr. Bruce Perry describes a model called Regulate, Relate, Reason. It’s used in child development, but it’s one of the best frameworks I’ve ever seen for leadership, too.

Here’s the simple idea:

1. Regulate – Help people feel safe and calm before expecting performance.

2. Relate – Build connection and trust through consistent support.

3. Reason – Once safety and connection exist, that’s when problem-solving, creativity, and growth can thrive.

In other words, a new hire doesn’t need pressure right away; they don’t need to prove themselves in week one. They need presence, and they need space to find their footing.

The 90-Day Workplace Attachment Cycle for New Hires

A baby can’t regulate itself on day three, and a new employee can’t hit KPIs on day one. Yet we often expect them to. We hand them big goals, give a quick intro, and move on to the next task, then wonder why they’re not thriving.

The truth is, new hires don’t fail because they’re not capable. They fail because leaders skip the emotional groundwork that allows performance to take root.

That realization led me to develop what I now call the 90-Day Workplace Attachment Cycle, a practical, neuroscience-backed way to onboard and retain high performers.

Days 1–30: Safety First (Regulate)

Structure creates safety. Start with a one-page performance agreement that clearly shows what success looks like. Then, do short daily check-ins. Even 5 to 10 minutes can make a huge difference.

Keep in mind that these aren’t micromanagement moments; they’re your chance to show up consistently and remove small roadblocks.

Days 31–60: Build Connection (Relate)

Once things stabilize, it’s time to connect on a human level. Get to know their story, what motivates them, how they like to work, and what they’re proud of. Don’t forget to share your story, too.

Pair up on a small project that lets them win early. Those shared victories strengthen belonging and spark collaboration.

Days 61–90: Stretch and Empower (Reason)

Now that trust is strong, it’s time to challenge them. Give your team member a meaningful project, something real that impacts the business, and switch to weekly coaching sessions.

This is when you move from managing to mentoring. Guided autonomy builds confidence, innovation, and ownership. The kind of qualities that drive long-term growth.

The Science of Attachment at Work

According to Gallup, employees who feel supported in their first 90 days are 1.5x more productive and 47% less likely to leave within a year.

Leaders who get this right don’t just build loyal teams. They build scalable businesses. And leaders who ignore it end up overworked, replacing people, and wondering why growth keeps stalling.

Small Improvements, Big Results

When Baby S turned one happy, healthy, and thriving, I realized that the key wasn’t in big gestures or grand plans. It was in the small, consistent moments of presence, structure, and encouragement.

Leadership works the same way. You don’t have to do more. You just have to do what matters every day, with intention.

When you protect that 90-day window for your new hires, you create a foundation where people feel safe enough to perform and trusted enough to lead themselves. That’s when real growth begins, for your people, your team, and your business.

Ready to Put It Into Practice?

Here’s a simple way to start this week:

• Do short daily check-ins during the first month.

• Meet twice a week during the next 30 days to celebrate progress and fix friction.

• From day 61 onward, shift to weekly coaching sessions that stretch and empower.

Remember that these tiny habits compound. Over time, they turn your workplace into a high-trust, high-performance environment.

Here are my key takeaways from this topic:

1. Start with Safety, Not Speed – Your people perform best when they feel supported. Prioritize clarity and calm before chasing quick wins.
   

2. Connection Builds Commitment – When you invest time to understand your team, you build trust, and trust turns into loyalty and collaboration.
   

3. Stretch After Stability – Once your people feel secure, challenge them with meaningful work. That’s how growth and innovation truly happen.

And if this topic resonated with you, tune in to the full podcast episode here: 90-Day Attachment: Foster Parent Secrets for Onboarding High-Performing New Hires